So my friend is fine! She called me a week after I found out and said that she was home and fine. I saw her that night and bawled my eyes out. Her medicine is fixed and she is doing much better. 

I am hating work right now because of all the "office" drama going on between my boss and the boss above her. So stressed! I go to WHU here soon! I am excited and terrified all at the same time. I hope that I do well and that they have a store for me when I am done. I also hope that all this stuff between my bosses works itself out soon. I would hate to deal with all of this once I am a manager and have this stupid woman in my store. Home life is awesome hubby and I are spending quality time together instead of just existing in the same space! 

Spiritually, I am floudering. I am so tired all the time that I can't stay awake long enough to do even the simplest ritual and i can't find the energy to read anything. I am fine health wise so work is just exhausting me. I am working about 60-65 hours a week right now and i feel so off balance. I need to establish some routine that allows me the energy and mental time to meditate or do a small ritual everyday. If anyone has any suggestions I have to be at work by 6:00 everyday and I wake up about 430 every morning in order to get there on time. I am home by about 4 everyday. sometimes earlier sometimes later. I need all the help and advice i can get because I just can't seem to figure this one out! 

A really good friend of mine who I have written about on here just tried to kill herself. She is a sweet loving girl with a lot of problems. She was in the ICU yesterday and she can't have visitors. Please pray for her and send her as much healing as possible. She has a long road ahead of her.

Thank you

Sunwillow

I am so... I can't explain it and since there is noone here to talk to I figured I would put it here. I feel like crying and screaming and running until I fall. I feel like I am hitting my hands on a brick wall. I'm bloody, beaten and desperate. But that is all inside. Outside I smile and laugh and tell corny jokes. I listen to the testimonies of my fellow workers about what their god has done in their lives today. I want to tell them that i feel the same way. That my goddess and my god are working so hard in my life. That I feel them everyday. That I talk to them and tell them my problems and that the spells that I do and the rituals I create mean more to me than I will ever be able to tell anyone.

I feel so alone. I feel like I am so alone...I know that all this is is one big complaint but there is noone here to talk to. I harbor no hard feelings against those whose religion is the frontrunner in this country. All I want is to have someone who I can go to when I am bombarded all day. Someone who thinks like me and worships like me.

I do have a supportive husband but he doesn't believe in anything. He loves me and is so happy that I have found something that makes me happier and more balanced than anything else ever did.

Looking back on what I have written I am asking myself if it makes me so happy why am I so mixed up? The problem comes not from my faith and its strength but from the secrecy and the feeling that I have to hide what I believe because I might get fired. Until I got this job I hadn't faced anything like this except from my parents. There have been people who joked about it but they didn't mean anything seeing as they are some of the best friends that I have. But there is NOONE here that believes as I do. None of my friends are Wiccan and none of my friends can understand what I believe.

I guess I am just tired.

Thank you for listening.

The job is with Waffle House as a manager. I will be training for the next 9 - 12 weeks and then I will check-in at my own store. I am so excited. The hubby is kinda disappointed because he thought i would be making more  since we were under the impression that I would be making more. It is only like 10000 less and while that sounds like a lot of money i will make it up in the bonuses and things that I can get. I am excited. Have a great night everyone.

so for my birthday this year I got a new job. I will be working for the wonderful people at the waffle casa. I am doing my in unit test today and tomorrow and for my birthday on wednesday I had to go and get an inch of my hair cut out for my drug test. I am excited and nervous, very nervous. So nervous I feel the need to throw up. I am trying not to but we will see if it holds! So I am getting out of a job that is frustrating and demeaning and getting into a job that pays about 4 times as much as the job i am in now and has full benefits and stock options and everything else. So very excited. and tired this is way to early to be getting up to go to work!!!

Talk to you all soon

Sunwillow Rose