I am going insane. All I keep thinking about is a big juicy sandwich full of MEAT!!!!!!!! I had to call my mom to get her to talk me down off my ledge. it is so pitiful now I am hungry but I don't want another damn salad with apples on it. I want meat!!!!I don't know what to do about this. Will it ever go away? I hope so! Gotta go

Sunwillow Rose

I tried Asparagus today. It was kinda Squishy. That part I didn't like but it didn't taste that bad. I think it would be better with some butter. I tried Egamame. I think that was what it was anyway. it was ok. beany and squishy. I tried steamed carrots which made me literally throw up. Not sure why. Anyway I am exhausted just wanted to let everyone know an update.

More later

Sunwillow

So yesterday i slipped a little. I didnt want to eat another salad! I just couldnt do it!! Instead I had a grilled chicken sandwhich and a baked potato from wendy's. it actually wasnt bad. on weight watchers it was only worth about 10 points I think. Maybe a little more. Then last night I had two veggie corndogs, but I also had 4 25 cent bags of of chips. It was horrible and I am really upset with myself! Anyway Today I am having a spinach salad for lunch and I want to have a small salad and veggie corn dogs for dinner. What!? they are really good!

More later!

Sunwillow

Since my last post I have tried:

• Brussel Sprouts (ok)
• Spinach ( good)
• carrots (eh)
• apples (good)
• broccoli (eh)
• cabbage ( eh)
• iceburg (eh)
• blackberries (dont like the seeds)
• raspberries (dont like the seeds)
• OH and of course MorningStar Farms veggie Corndogs, veggie chicken patties, and veggie burgers (you can't tell the difference!!!!)
  

That is about it. But I am proud of myself so far. I slipped a little but I got back on track and while it is breaking me down a little ( I cried tonight) I am slowly getting better. It just wears me down having to push myself everyday to keep to this. I miss meat and I am constantly fighting myself to keep eating vegetables. It would be so much easier to go back and eat all the crappy food that I used to eat and gain enough weight to really be obese! I know it sounds so childish but it is a struggle for me everyday to keep up with this.

I am just getting worn down doing this. I am getting discouraged and I am complaining a lot. I get grumpy without meat!!!

anyway love you all!

Goodnight

So I dont eat any friuts or veggies. I figure the only way for me to get them into my body is to become a vegetarian. Maybe if I get hungry enough and that is the only thing that i have in the house that i can eat then i will eat the veggies. If anyone has any ideas on this subject I would greatly appreciate it! I don't know how I am going to get through this as lettuce makes me gag. But today at lunch I got through half a salad before I felt bad for making everyone wait for me. For some reason I have a mental block against being able to eat these things and I have to psych myself up for it. it can take me 5 mintues to to take a single bite. This is obviously bad if I am out with other people. Also, I have a problem with textures. On top of all of this my doctor wants me to come see him in 6 weeks to talk about my obesity. Now to me I see myself as fat but definitly not obese!!! I mean I weigh 182 pounds and I am 5'4. I know that I am overweight but I dont feel obese.

So here is my new diet

No meat of any kind (although I am debating about Fish and seafood)

no carbs (or as few carbs as possible)

no soda (just water and 100% juice.)

NO CHIPS(I am addicted to Doritos cooler ranch and I can sit and eat a whole bag, the big bags, by myself in one day!)

no potatoes or corn (this is because I like these and would eat them before I would eat anything else)

Kinda nervous about how all of this will go but we will soon see!

Think about me when you eat!!!