SO not much is going on. LIfe has settled down into a routine that changes weekly. I work at the bookstore 3 days a week and then one day a week i work for the downtown development office. I come home, say hi to my cats, they meow back, I wait for everyone to get home (the hubby, and the house guest. That would be a great title for a novel!!) Anyway, I cook dinner I do the dishes, I watch tv and do some research (this just lately) by the time i get done with this I am exhausted!!! So I go to bed. Then I get up and do it all over again. Every once in a while I throw in some guitar hero for fun

Lately I have been trying to get my book of shadows together. I have been doing the research and trying to get everything organized. Then I want to make my book. Right now I am just using a 3 ring binder. This isnt as creative as I have always imagined it and so I finally decided to jump into the pool and sink or swim so to speak. I want to figure out what mine should embody about me. LIke what characteristics about myself I want the book to portray! Anyway here's hoping it works!

Sunwillow Rose

So I am depressed right now. not sure why but I don't know how to get out of this. Just sitting here thinking. Not really tinking about anything. Wanna go to bed. Not really tired. just dont want to be awake anymore. Sorry guys. THis will end here.

Sunwillow Rose

    Today is the last official day of my internship. I dont know how to feel about it. I am happy on one hand because now I will be getting paid, but on the other hand the school period of my life is over. I am no longer a college student. I have to go out into the big bad world and make my way on my own (with a considerate amount of help from my husband) i am scared because I don't have a job lined up from all of this. Although I am now getting paid to work a small amount of hours, I need a real job with benefits and steady pay. I am frustrated by the fact that I don't have a regular job lined up. One that I go to everyday and work hard at and learn a ton of new things. I don't like the uncertainty. I hate change. But change is everywhere these days from the blooming of the trees to the permanent house guest we are about to take on. I am so nervous. I know that everything will turn out well but now I just don't know. I have never been in this situation before.

Also Thank you to everyone who has been giving me advice the last few days. It is very welcome and I take it all to heart. Thank you all!

Love and Light

Sunwillow Rose

I am going insane. All I keep thinking about is a big juicy sandwich full of MEAT!!!!!!!! I had to call my mom to get her to talk me down off my ledge. it is so pitiful now I am hungry but I don't want another damn salad with apples on it. I want meat!!!!I don't know what to do about this. Will it ever go away? I hope so! Gotta go

Sunwillow Rose

So I can't make heads or bodies of HTML. It is so confusing. Plus there is CSS to learn and that is even more confusing. You would think that my husband being a programmer would give a leg up on the learning curve, but alas that is not the case. He has never been able to teach me anything because we learn in completely different ways. Things that are easy for him (he took Calculus 3 and linear mathematics for fun!!!) are complete gibberish to me. Things that are easy for me (I am learning Greek right now) are complete gibberish to him (literally since I am speaking a different language ) I think I just need to sit down and start from the beginning.

I have lost 2 pounds which makes the veggie thing so much easier to bear! Just the fact that I am losing weight makes me happy. Of course I still dont like many veggies and it is a slow process to learn but I think it is worth it. I have slipped up a little, but I always get back on track right away. my biggest downfall has been chips. I have found that I will try anything to get them. It is very bad. I have been sneaking them and that is just stupid.

I am about to be done with my internship so I am freaking out. I do have 3 part-time jobs lined up, but I am not sure how that is going to work out or for how long. I am excited to actually get paid for the work that I am doing though. That will be great!

I also have another huge change coming. We (my husband and I ) are taking in a friend of ours who broke up with their partner. She is wonderful and I love her, but I am also worried about this. My mom and dad have been yelling at us not to do. To save ourselves the heatache and just not let her. But how can I say no after everything she has been through? I mean she isnt eating very much, she hardly sleeps and she is just plain miserable. One of the biggest problems is that she is about to be one of my bosses. She is the owner of the store that I am going to be doing one of my part-time jobs at. The other problem is that in June (I know it sounds like it is far away but it really isnt) another friend of mine needs a place to stay for a month. She doesn't want to rent a place because she is only going to live there for a month and who wants to pay a month of rent when you arent going to be living there? So she is coming to stay with us. Now we have a 3 bedroom house so it shouldnt be a problem right? Well one of those rooms is my altar room and the other is the guest room. The best solution would be if Debbie found another place to live before June, but that is completely up to her. I am not going to kick her out just to make room for someone else.

Everything is so confused and that is something in life that I really can't stand. I hate not knowing what is going to happen.

Anyway I have rambled long enough I guess I should go.

Love and light to you all

Sunwillow Rose